Divorce is about loss. It threatens our family, our cash flow, our standard of living, our future, our stability, and how we feel about ourselves. This major crossroad in our lives inevitably causes anxiety, the painful uneasiness and apprehension about future uncertainties.
Anxiety in divorce is natural and it prevents us from communicating effectively. It can freeze our mind in a closed position and make it hard for us to get our point across.
What can we do to mitigate our anxieties?
The best way is to avoid arguing with our spouse. Non-confrontational communication can ease our spouse’s anxiety before it can gain momentum. If we reduce theirs, we reduce ours. If we refuse to respond to their arguing with more arguing, it may inspire them to follow suit. Arguing is always futile; it just makes the other side dig in deeper.
A good way to avoid arguing is to be as understanding as you can when addressing your partner’s worries and concerns. It is also wise not to defend the past by offering excuses or by proclaiming your innocence. In your spouse’s eyes, this is the same as arguing. If your spouse is hurting, the pain won’t go away just because you didn’t intend to cause it or because the precipitating incident was not your fault.